So, What’s Your Book About?

On the list of questions I hate this one might rank higher than, “what are you doing for your mom for mother’s day?” I get excited and talk about being a writer. I go on about ideas I’ve had, what I do to help me write, what I’m doing to get my name out there, how far I’ve gotten in my book, but the moment someone asks this question my eyes go wide, my jaw drops open and occasionally I start to drool. Yeah, it’s pretty tragic.

It’s not that I don’t know what my book is about…I’ve already played through the entire scenario at least 300 times adding little nuances here and there…it’s that I’m not quite sure how to relate it to another person. It’s all fine and dandy to talk about doing something cool and risky, but actually doing it is another thing all together. What if it takes me 2 years to complete this book and everyone hates it? (‘What’ and ‘if’ are two words that should be banned from hanging out together really) It’s also nerve racking because at that very moment you have one of the greatest opportunities in the world: if they think it’s awesome they’ll tell someone else ‘hey I know someone writing a book and it sounds really cool’.  Word of mouth: best. advertising. ever.

I also have added stress because the first few times I tried to explain my book I got the eyes-glaze-over-that-sounds-nice response. I was only in the first few chapters at the time and it didn’t help that they were older and thought smooth jazz was party rockin. Playing for the correct audience is a good idea when you are trying to get good reviews.

As I near the end of my first draft I’ve started trying to think of a great answer to that question. I need to start talking about it. I may not have a lot of friends, but the few friends I have do and those friends have friends. I think my first mistake in talking about is trying to compare it to things I think they will understand. Why compare it to anything? It should be better than everything! LOL. Part of the reason is because I think it’s too complicated to summarize. I think that means it’s a good book though. Every story has been told so a good story teller takes one of those stories and adds another layer. Every book also has a simple premise because it’s one of those stories that have already been told. I think from on I will start with the premise and add my own layers.

The next mistake I make is losing the excitement I previously exuded when relating that I was a writer. I think that might be giving off the bad odor of suckage. Actually I’m just afraid they’ll think it sucks. It’s not lack of excitement; it’s infusion of fear. So from now on I need to remember that I like it and other people like things I like….so there is a good chance they’ll like it if I do. If not, there is always the next person. Advertising isn’t about making sure everyone likes it, it’s about making sure the right person likes it.

OK…so there’s my ramblings. I’ll update sometime…maybe…if I remember.

Until we are rich and famous because the only way to dream is big ^_^

Happy Friday the 13th!

I get excited every time one of these comes around. It makes sense; I love occult/dark/magic/whatever things. This one does have meaning for me though. I finally made enough money to take my GMAT. I’m on my way to getting into grad school, provided I can pass the damn thing.

Not easy.

Ugh!

Unfortunately writing time will be even more hindered as I set up a rigorous study schedule in preparation for the big test.

I also finished chapter 12 of my novel which puts me on…chapter 13. Dun dun dun. I’m actually not superstitious in the least but I’m going to think it’s serendipitous anyway.

Hope tomorrow is a magical day for you.

Raven

Inspired by Another Blog

I recently read a post on another blog debating the differences between romance, erotica, and porn. I even posted a few blogs on that as well, but in the end its all semantics for the most part except there are quite a few romances out there that have nothing in common with porn. No sex what so ever just sappy love stories. Seems pointless…but that’s just me.  I read for arousal. I like my “porn” thank you very much. There is also a lot more to it, but I’m not going to get into that here.

This blog, Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, did bring up a point that really struck a chord with me (which was the real focus of the blog entry). There is a great deal of shame revolving around the reading of romance, be it porn or not. There isn’t anything wrong with a guy looking at porn, unless you’re some hard-core conglomeration of some religion or other or an extremely jealous woman, but find a guy who won’t roll his eyes at the prospect of a romance or, “porn for women” (usually said in a derogatory tone). What? We aren’t allowed to have fantasies? And people wonder why supposedly women have lower libidos than men. Yeah we are supposed to be sensual for our mates but light forbid we explore our sensuality in anything but the predetermined way whatever the fuck that is. The constant contradictions dictating how we ‘should’ be aren’t really helping. Anyway, usually Romance and its ilk (I’m being facetious) is equated with unrealistic expectations (yeah this is anecdotal but am I wrong?).

You know no ‘real man’ could be like the hero in a romance novel.

Well no shit Sherlock. That’s why it’s a FANTASY. “Real women” are not like the girls in porn movies either, and I’m pretty sure most men know that. Why is it so impossible for a woman to come to the same obvious conclusion? Honestly, if a guy came up to me and started acting like one of the “heroes” (I use quotes because I don’t always write heroes in the traditional sense…or at all. Often they only have very bad things on their minds ::wicked grin::) I’ve written it would definitely garner a ‘WTF is wrong with you asshole’ from me. (Unless he’d rolled an 18 charisma with some ungodly modifier then I wouldn’t have a chance. )

Of all the people who could make a woman feel ashamed to read erotic literature her significant other has the highest impact. Unfortunately they regularly do just that so instead of enjoying the book, and later on enjoying their spouse that much more, the reader might retreat into the book and withdraw. Shame does that. A guy might ridicule the flowery language (Which I actually am not too fond of either. I mean stop telling her how beautiful she is, grab a fistful of hair and fuck her already. I must reiterate this is my fantasy life…quite different, in some ways, from my real life.), or, like I said above, they might think it instills unrealistic expectations, or it’s just as simple as they think it’s stupid. Consider what it is? It’s sex and it’s getting her to think about it. If sex between long-term couples is so rare these days why would you begrudge something like this? Why hell would you think it’s stupid?

Encourage it! Encourage her to be erotic. We are erotic creatures. Sex is an experience. I always laugh about “animalistic sex”. Animals don’t have sex for pleasure, generally. I’m not even sure they actually feel pleasure. At least not the way we do. They have sex to procreate. They are following ingrained instincts to maintain the survival of their species. When humans give into temptation and desire and start ripping each other’s clothes off because being apart for even a second longer is actual legitimate torture they are giving into something that is purely human (except maybe dolphins?). Erotic literature focuses on this one thing. How could anyone ever be ashamed of being interested in or knowing someone who is interested in this?

Just think about it.

 There was more on that blog like the bill that narrowly failed that would have deemed birth control questionable and prevented health insurance from covering it (or something like that) or the fact that funding to Planned Parenthood has been blocked leaving thousands of women who cannot afford it without care for their sexual health.  It does appear that they are saying our sexuality is bad because these things only affect females: birth control, ob/gyn visits…things that should be inalienable rights so we can enjoy sex for sex and not just for procreation. I’m not a highly politically motivated person but these things really do make me think…they should make you think too.

Pushing Your Comfort Zone

My father use to whip me. Leather strap and bare thighs style.

How’s that for a hook?

I’m not stating that to talk semantics or argue the pros and cons of ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’. I pointed it out because, consequently (in my case), I attach absolutely -0- eroticism with spanking. Actually it kinda makes me uncomfortable. Scratch that, it makes me a lot uncomfortable just like, I’m sure, more than one person that reads the first statement in this blog will be uncomfortable. Again…that was the point.

I believe in pushing comfort zones. I think it makes you a better writer. I think there are lines you shouldn’t cross, but I also think that is a writer’s personal choice. You know, free speech and all. I’m quite capable of not reading your writing if I think you are a twisted sicko that needs to be locked up. We should all be a little more grown up about some things.  That is part of how we protect our freedoms. Though I did once join a campaign to remove writings of a pedophilia nature from Amazon…free speech be damned in that case, but I digress.

I’m currently writing a D/s piece that includes discipline of a sexual nature. Yup, I’m stuck. It’s hard to write about how turned on *she* is getting when *I* am not. The subject interests me a great deal, however; otherwise I wouldn’t include it in my things to write about. I don’t believe in pushing boundaries for the sake of pushing boundaries. There has to be a reason first. It interests me in the same way a hardcore atheist is obsessed with uber conservative Christians. I think deep down they are jealous of that kind of faith and deep down I ummm…don’t know yet. I’ll figure it out eventually. But, consider, if I could write a convincing scene in this case…yeah I’m a fucking talented writer. (And no I’ll never really believe that…but I can still write it. I’m a fiction writer after all.)

You should…push your boundaries…stretch your wings…question the status quo. Maybe not every chance you get. There is nothing wrong with taking the easy way sometimes…but don’t get in that habit. You get copasetic…which is remarkably close to sceptic. Think about it…and happy writing.

It Only Hurts the First Time

Confession time: I am a pervasive user of pay day loans. No you don’t need to tell me how much they cost. Believe me I am fully aware of the excessive amounts of funds I waste doing this. Trouble is, once you get started it’s hard to stop even when you are not dependent on them. You hit the end of your meager rope and you’re looking at that little button that allows you to pull from next week’s deposit and you tell yourself you’ll try again next time like any true addict and bam! a little further down the rabbit hole. I’m lucky, and so very cursed, that the loan I use is provided by my bank and waaaayyyyy cheaper than that crap you get from some check cashing place but it’s also so very available. 

So I’ve been trying to get out of this hole for 8 years now and it’s sucking. It’s one of the reasons I’m committing myself to writing a book. If I get a book deal, even if it’s just a small amount of money, it might help. Of course the more money you throw down a rabbit hole the more you lose. It’s just a never ending cycle of lunacy really. In the words of Zorg from one of my favorite movies of all time, “I know this music, let’s change the beat.” [The Fifth Element]

In all the years that we’ve been trying to fix this mess there is one thing I’ve never done: save. Any time I get extra money I try to pay off a loan or put tires on the truck or pay off a credit card (which I immediately use again). I never just put it away. The funny thing is I was living just fine before I got that extra money so I probably could have put away and things would gone along on their screwed up way (except this one time…boy we like living on the edge). So I’ve decided that’s it (and because my husband gave me the idea) we are saving something. Fuck the credit cards. A maxed credit card is safe anyway cause ya can’t use it.

I have this theory that if I had money just sitting there not being used that it would just grow. I think that’s why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. If you go to look in your bank account two days after you get paid and you have a grand total of 50.00 left over you get depressed and you spend the 50.00 because you feel like there’s no point. So I’m taking that money and setting it in an account. Even if I screw up and run out of money I won’t touch it I’ll just use my trusty deposit advance. That’s 50.00 a paycheck so 100.00 a month. After a few months it will add up and when I look in my account even a week after I get paid I’ll still have money in the account. I won’t get depressed and I won’t spend the money I have. Also I’ll know that if there is a catastrophe I won’t have to pull loans and crap for it…I can just take some from savings. I can also start funneling some off to actually pay down the stupid credit cards.

I think it’s gonna suck for a few months not having that money available but eventually I’ll adapt. I always adapt. I’m a survivor. After a while it will feel pretty good. Yup I haz monies that I don’t spend! Yippee!!

I don’t know. It’s a thought and I have lots of those. I’ll let you know in a few months.

That Darn Day Job

Lately I’ve been watching people fall like flies around this place. Talking to my receptionist friend we came to the conclusion that everyone has gone were all downers. That’s not to say that this job isn’t a downer in general, but coming to a downer job AND hearing about how much of a downer the job is all day sucks.

Side note: two people to make friends with at a large place of business are the receptionist and the IT person. The receptionist generally knows more than everyone thinks and…well…if you can’t figure out why you should be friends with IT then you should probably go work at McDonald’s.

Anyway…

A job should never be begrudged. While I’m not fond of mine for many reasons it still pays the bills which is more than a lot of people can say in this economy. So, while I’m not really in agreement with the decision to let these people go (either by action or inaction) I find that the people left behind are more grateful than disgruntled and it makes the job a little easier. A bad job, unless they are out and out breaking the law, really should be suffered in silence (or with a sarcastic wit that even the bosses can’t help but laugh at) until something better can be found or the job just gets better by default. One day when you’re living your dreams you’ll still have that day job to thank for holding you over until you figured out how to do it.

Coffee House

Between being a wife, a mother, an accountant, and a few other job descriptions I feel like I lose myself a little more every day. I feel like I never take any time for myself because once I’m done making sure everyone else is okay there doesn’t seem to be any time left. I know a lot of other women in my position feel the exact same way.

Guess what? We are all wrong.

I guarantee you take more time than you realize in the little moments you steal here and there, but they are so buried under everything else you do that they seem inconsequential. I have decided to remedy this issue in my life. There are 168 hours in every week so there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking three of those hours consecutively (a mere 2% if the available time) to do something just for me, and I did just that this past Monday.

After the house was marginally cleaner than it was the day before and I made sure the world wouldn’t end in my absence (I guess you can’t really call me detail orientated) I headed up to Barnes & Noble’s with my beautiful laptop (that belongs to my husband for school purposes if anybody asks) and just wrote. No kids, no hubby, no dogs, no dirty house…just me and my words.

It was a little slice of heaven.

There were a few issues like I need to have headphones so I can listen to my music (Starbucks’ music didn’t exactly inspire me in the direction I was hoping to go) and chair space was nearly non-existent. My husband came through with a phenomenal suggestion on the second point: coffee shop in the morning in Galveston. I’m giddy. Those annoying school girls outside a New Kids on the Block concert giddy. (Crap did I just date myself? I’m old enough to do that now? Wow.) Not only is Galveston overflowing of history and sexy in its own right and full of as yet untapped inspiration…it’s also where Damien is taking Annabelle in the next portion of my Incubus’ story. Since I’ll want to wait until I get to Galveston to continue writing on it, I now have an incentive to work on my novel.

It’s total win!

So next Saturday morning I shall prowl the Strand District and then sit at MOD Coffeehouse and take my readers over at Literotica.com on a tour of one my favorite places to hang out. Meanwhile I’ll work on my novel and maybe this…umm…ahem…scene that’s been on my mind for a while now. You know what? ADD is just another word for creative.

Until next time.

Amended…

Yesterday I posted on formatting and gave some spec’s I picked up during my internet travels. Very quickly I’d like to ammend one of those perameters. While I did get it from a published author, I noticed that at no time with my margins set to 1.5″ all the way around did my word count come even close to 250 on one page in MS Word. I’ve decided to change the margins to 1″ all the way around. When I do finally submit it for publishing I’ll note if that is incorrect.

Margins:              1″ all the way around

Font:                     Courier New 12 pt

Spacing:               Double space throughout unless starting a new scene or chapter

Chapter:              Move to a completely new page, type ‘Chapter [number]’ or your chapter’s title, hit return twice and start typing.

Scene:                  Hit return twice, type a pound sign ‘#’, hit return twice again and start typing.

Formatting

My book is coming along nicely. I recently went through and found pictures that looked something like the characters I’m portraying. I found dead ringers for all but one and they were all stars from movies and TV series I’m particularly fond of. I wonder if I was subconsciously considering their faces as the voices began to take shape in my head.

That has nothing to do with formatting though does it…

Around 23,000 MS Office words into my story I started trying to explain to my husband how many pages that would be in a published novel. The number 250 came to mind so I divided that into 23,000 and got a gratifying 92 pages. I was ecstatic. I’m not even half way done and I already have nearly 100 pages. That is so…neat!

The ‘250’ count was off the cuff. I had no clue if I was actually correct in that respect. Curiosity continued to gnaw at my brain so I went hunting through the interwebs for tips on how to format a ‘manuscript’.

I have a manuscript! ::bouncebounce:: I mean…sorry…serious face now.

Something I saw over and over again as I waded through site after site is that the MS Word count isn’t the one that a publisher is going to look at. No, your word count comes from the number of pages you have multiplied by 250.  Well, at least I was right about the 250, but doing it that way I had a paltry 15,500 words (62 pages). Talk about letting the air of your sails. Since I’m not one to accept a setback lightly I kept digging and discovered my manuscript ….squeeeee!…sorry, can’t help it….was formatted all wrong for submission.

Here is a format I found from a published author whom I forgot to note.  Oops.

Margins:              1.5 all the way around

Font:                     Courier New 12 pt

Spacing:               Double space throughout unless starting a new scene or chapter

Chapter:              Move to a completely new page, type ‘Chapter [number]’ or your chapter’s title, hit return twice and start typing.

Scene:                  Hit return twice, type a pound sign ‘#’, hit return twice again and start typing.

It took me an hour to reformat 23,000 words (there were multiple formats throughout the document so it wasn’t as easy as ‘select all’ and choose format) so I suggest you figure out what your submission format is from day one. Then again I inadvertently got some editing out of the way as I removed spaces so waiting could play to your favor. Your choice.

The really cool thing? Upon completion of my formatting I had 145 pages and 36,250 words. The reason for the drastic difference is due to my writing style: I’m far more interested in what the characters are doing than what is going on around them so I have more dialogue than description. This creates a lot of ‘white space’. I’m not sure if that is a bad thing or not at the moment, but I plan on finishing my manuscript… …before I go back and decide if I should change a few things around. This could be just my writing a style and it might work just fine. Sometimes you need the whole picture before you can see how well everything fits together though.

Also, since I am coming along so well with my book I’ve been toying around with some descriptions (you know those things you read on the back of a paperback?), and I might be putting one up soon. I may even try and get my hubby to design something in photoshop to give it some pizazz. I didn’t want to do it before I was sure I would finish the book in order avoid peaking interesting in something I wasn’t going to finish any time soon, because…you know…I do that sometimes ::sheepish grin::  So stay tuned

Just Curious

Do you have a favorite character? One that gets in your head and answers questions seemingly without your bidding? One that won’t leave you alone even when you are steadfastly working on something completely unrelated to their body of work?

Just curious.  I’d add ‘or am I just weird like that’ but that’s kind of a stupid question. I already know I’m weird.

Leave an answer…I have an insatiable curiosity.